If You Were My Best Friend

" If you were my best friend I'd want you 'round all the time, I'll be your best friend if you promise that you'll be mine."

How many times have we thought this? At some point in time we all long for that best friend who will be there for anything, anytime, anywhere. This may be a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, or it may be a longtime friend that you grew up with. Either way.....it is rare to find someone, anyone that you are able to share your most intimate thoughts with, the one who is sent to you, at the right time in your life so that you are able to make it.

I have come to realize that you do needs friends in your life who will have your back when you need them.....or better yet, someone that you will be able to lean on and reciprocating when they need you. I had a friend who made me realize that in this day and time, people are not willing to be a friend...they are not willing to help out each other in a time of need. I have come to find out that people tend to use you when they want or need something...they use you up, and when you don't meet their expectation....they don't have need for you anymore.

Maybe we are all guilty of this, but concentrating on being a friend, a true friend, a best friend is the greatest feeling in the world.

Guide Your Steps

Sometimes you outgrow the friends and acquaintances in your life….and this can be an unsettling revelation especially when you are comfortable with the people who you have surrounding you on a regular basis. How can you, even though you know it may be the right thing to do, eliminate someone from your circle….from your life even? How can you begin the process of weeding out those individuals who have begun to drain you mentally and spiritually? It’s time to clean house when you are purging friendships and/or relationships because you yearn for affirmations that make you feel like a better man or woman. Often times we hold on to relationships not because they enhance our lives, but because they are what we are used to, they are what makes us comfortable, they are who we have let define us.

Not all relationships that worked for us in the past will work for us right now……in our present situation. We must, at all times, create a circle of support whose ideas and goals are aligned with our own. Many times we allow people to remain in our lives, because we are not actively following and creating our path, we are just letting it “happen”……we let the ideas of others guide our path. We tell our young people all the time….”Be a leader, not a follower” or “Be the head not the tail”. How many of us “adults” take heed of our own direction and advice? How many of us actually take the time to evaluate who we communicate on a daily basis?

Now this may prove to be a difficult task….you may have to cut off friends you have known since high school, family you thought had your back, or even that first love who you thought would have your heart forever. You have to take care of you…..take that journey so that you are in control of your life, and control who you CHOOSE to have in your life. There is no room for error, no room for someone else to direct your path.

Random thoughts.....

I must admit....I am a hopeless romantic who loves Love!!! I know that I am not the only one who thinks about this on a regular basis ( could these people be called closet romantics? IJS), because I see it posted on FB and hear many.....many.... conversations on the subject. The topic may be finding love, trying to forget a love, or trying to "fix" the love that they already have. Buuuut it's all the same.....Love is wanted, and needed.

I do know however that if I ever fall in love again (Shai), I want a man who is a hard worker like my Father..... a man who definitely worked for his family, and made sure that we had all we needed. I want someone is going to make sure that the family home is taken care of.....physically and spiritually. I want a man like my Grandaddy, who worked many jobs to take of his ten children, and seemed to feed them, and clothe them even when it looked like he couldn't....and he never gave up!!! I want a man like my Great Uncle who worked 3 hours away from his wife.....and didn't complain when he worked on the line at GM with hips and knees that needed to be replaced....he was so dedicated....and so willing to work... he sat on a stool as he did his job with no complaints.

I often times I wonder if the men of Generation X, and the young men of the Millennial Generation will able to "go back" to the roots of our hardworking ancestors. Will these men work hard, get their education, and take care of their future families (or the families that they have already created) without waiting for someone else to take care of their obligations? I see it time and time again...young men ( and women for that matter) waiting for someone to take care of their responsibilities...its a shame!!!! Is it ego tripping that is causing our young men (and women) to "wait" for someone to do for them, when they are too lazy to do for themselves? I don't know....but I do wish that these questions that I have did not exist.

SOOOOO getting back to Love....I don't need a man with " deep pockets".....but I don't want a "Scrub" (TLC), I don't need a man with 5 degrees...but I do need him to be smart enough to do what's right......for me (that includes my children) and love me..... I think that is simple enough.....isn't it? LOL

I am writing this blog entry (and I know that I have been all over the place) because I am attempting to more deliberate about my thoughts and choices about who I have in my inner circle..... and wanted to get my thoughts out!

The Light

How often do we walk in darkness trying to find our way out? How many times have we've felt lost, without purpose, feeling like we didn't know which way to turn. John 14:6 tells us: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." We have a blueprint of they way that our lives are supposed to play out....all we have to is be still....and listen.


For so long I have dreamed about the day that you would appear
a perfect vision
there was no confusion that I belonged to you
I was yours
You accepted me
flaws and all.
You let me know that Your love was unconditional
and no one could take You away from me.

I hesitated
and You let me know
that You've always been there
watching.
waiting.
praying.

Your arms wrapped around me holding me close
touches and calms my spirit
I breathe easy because I sense You
I know You're with me.

For so long I have dreamed about the day that you would appear
a perfect vision
there was no confusion that I belonged to you
I was yours
You accepted me
flaws and all.
You let me know that Your love was unconditional
and no one could take You away from me.

I hesitated
From the start You were perfectly matched for me
it was written......destiny
You didn't say a Word until I was ready
and then out of no where
I finally see Your face
and it took my breath away
I am ready for You
for what was always meant to be.

I am SO Blessed
Your Light
shines through me....so that I can find him
My path is bright....because of You
and with You in me it is sure to be
a match made in heaven.

I learned to wait silently
my steps are ordered
I am at peace with the task that you have given me.
I'm waiting
I'm watching
I'm praying
until you reveal to me what choices I am to make.

For so long I have dreamed about the day that you would appear
a perfect vision
there was no confusion that I belonged to you
I was yours.....
You accepted me
flaws and all.
You let me know that Your love was unconditional
and no one could take You away from me.

TMS July 2010

I AM Ready for Love

What is Love?
Am I "In Love"?
Who is that right person for me?
Does He/She Love me?

Love is a topic that is questioned and analyzed on a daily basis.

Many people forget to see the value of Love.....and what Love truly is, and because of this...we are living in a state of confusion on what Love really is. TRUE Love NEVER fails. Many have been taught for so many years that in order to Love anyone else you must Love and seek God....you must submit to HIS Will and you must follow His commandments. Love originates with Him, and if you don't seek him....how can you seek Love from anyone else? Just saying.....

Two kinds of (Biblical) Love appeared frequently in my research about this topic....Agape Love and Phileo Love:

"Agape" Love is defined as represented as the Love that is given to us by God....which is unconditional and sacrificial. ( John 3:16). Agape Love seeks nothing in return....it allows us to be who we are and even if we decide to follow the desires of our hearts, will still be there unconditionally. This Love is deep....selfless....intimate.

"Phileo" Love is defined as the love we commonly call "Brotherly Love". This Love connects our souls and our spirits with someone else. This Love is a causal/friendly Love between friends and acquaintances.

When someone says: I Love You....it could mean so many different things:

I Love you BECAUSE you do this for me.
I will Love you IF you do things the way I want them done.
I Love you IN SPITE of your faults.

Which way do you Love?

LIVIN MY LIFE LIKE IT'S GOLDEN!!!

I'm taking my freedom,
Pulling it off the shelf,
Putting it on my chain,
Wear it around my neck,
I'm taking my freedom,
Putting it in my car,
Wherever I choose to go,
It will take me far,

I am FEELIN' these lyrics....

I think about my children as I listen to this song, and how I have to make sure they are living life to the fullest.....I know that I have to mold them and set good examples before them so they have a good example of how they should live life. I want my children's steps to be DELIBERATE and ORDERED so that they know exactly where they are going. I work hard to ensure that they have the tools needed to be the very best at anything they set out to do. I have been so blessed that I have children who are naturally talented in many areas ( They get it from their Momma! LOL) and who are not afraid to work hard in order to succeed. I take the time to pray for them and to ask God to lead me in all that I do because without Divine Guidance....they would not stand a chance!!!

I'm livin' my life like it's golden
Livin' my life like it's golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden, golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden, golden,

I also think about my students as I think about my students.....and I am gearing up for them as they arrive in the Fall!!!! I have to make sure that I am a "ROCK" as they matriculate into their first year of their academic career. I know that for some, I am who they will look up to for mentor-ship, and leadership....and I want to make sure I am at my best!!!

I'm livin' my life like it's golden
Livin' my life like it's golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden, golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden,
Livin' my life like it's golden, golden,

I also think about myself as I listen to this song, and how it allows me to remember my purpose and what my goals are for me personally. I don't know about anyone else, but I have to stop sometimes and take an inventory of the things that I am doing ( evaluating my attitude and actions)the people whom I surround myself (determining whether or not they will assist me in achieving the goals that I have set for my self) and make changes accordingly.

I'm taking my own freedom
Putting it in my song,
Singing loud and strong,
Grooving all day long,
I'm taking my freedom,
Putting it in my stroll,
I'll be high-steppin' y'all
Letting the joy unfold,

The Best I've Ever Had

Sooooo....been in a writing mood lately....trying to calm my spirit, and get back into the zone..... It is my goal to write, write, write.....at least one piece a week so that I am able to put my collection together. I have been saying for so long that I wanted to do it (put a collection together that is) and I just have never taken the time to make that happen.

I wrote the following piece in about 20 minutes....it is definitely not complete yet, but I believe that it is on the way to being a signature piece for me.....trying to put something together that reflects me....my soul....my spirit.

Just like me......its a work in progress......



Lost in thought....... wondering if time has finally caught up to where my heart is
It's a mystery.......I'm not quite ready to know the outcome,
I'm going to let it find me this time.

Don't know the history.....but I've been reading between the lines
And......I can tell,
It's the best I've ever had.
the best I've ever had.

Finding the road that leads me exactly where I've always wanted to be
Where I've always needed to go.....and
the map seems easier to follow....it's finally not up to me,
I'm ready to go.
I'm ready to go.
take me I'm yours.
If you want me.

Settled in the place most appropriate for me
chosen....spoken for,
I'm resting in the arms of peace
waiting to take my place as queen on the throne
saved especially for me.
I'm not worried cause it's
The best I've ever had.
The best I've ever had.

Waiting for my identity to be revealed
it's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come,
I'm patient.
I'm watching.
I'm ready.
I'm waiting.
I see you coming....and,
It's the best I've ever had.
The best I've ever had.

TMS
July 2010

X Factor

I LOVE THIS SONG!

I have been listening to it all week in my car on my way to work....actually, I have been listening to to the Mis-education of Lauryn Hill for the past few weeks non stop. Music heals the spirit and the soul sometimes. Have you ever noticed that no matter your mood.....mad, sad, happy, in love, falling out of love (can you fall out of love?....that is an ENTIRELY different topic...lol).....you can find a song that will lift your spirits if you want them lifted, or keep you down in the dumps if you want to be there! Smile.

This song can take you so many places....I can feel the hurt, the pain, and the joy in her lyrics. I am not in any way a great music reviewer, I just know that sometimes when you are feeling some kind of way, or if you are struggling with anything that may occur in your life......picking a song, playing it through, can make your situation fit the song,....does any one else do that?

I am so glad that even if no one else understand me, no one else agrees with my views or the things that I say.....I know that I can put on my favorite tunes....and just get lost in the moment without explanation or justification. I am glad to have an outlet in the arts that allows me to grow....allows me to vent.....and allows me to use my talents.

Deliberate Preparation is Key!

It's the end of the school year, the time that college the age students that I teach and advise are taking finals, packing their dorm rooms, and filling out applications for summer jobs.

I wonder if they have taken the time to think about their year........what they have accomplished, what they wanted to accomplished, and what they did not accomplish. I have so many students running to me AT THE END OF THE YEAR trying to clean up what they messed up.....realizing that it is too late.

It breaks my heart that people, especially young people don't realize they mess up opportunities in the future with the choices that they are making presently. I want to shake them so they understand that many times their choices have a deeper impact on their lives that they will ever be able to imagine.

I think about my students, and I often wonder if I am encouraging them, through my words and actions to be the very best they can be. As their "advisor", do I give them the tools needed to carry them through until their next class, their next "big" academic decision?

I gave one of my classes a challenge earlier this year.....I asked them the question: Who are you? What is your brand? I challenged them to have a vision and a path for their lives so they have an idea of what they are working for.

I leave this blog entry of randomness thoughts with a challenge to anyone who may read it: Are you ready? Have you prepared for your future, for your reward, for your destiny? What are you doing  EACH DAY to ensure that you are ready for what is in store for your life.

These are things that I am trying to incorporate in my life......we shall see....we shall see.

I'M OVER NOW........The poem.

The piece that you are about to read is a continuation of the blog entry I'M OVER IT NOW.......the concept came from events in my life as well as stories I have heard from other women that I have encountered in my daily journey as a woman, as an advisor, and as a friend. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!


I’m over it now,
I refuse to be the collateral damage
The games you play with my emotions
Are over now…..I just wanted you to know that;


I’m over it now,
You may have fooled me once before
But eyes wide open
I’m ready to beat you at your game
It’s time for you to see that;


I’m over it now,
Time will show that
The woman I have become
Is the woman strong enough
To tell you that;


I’m over it now,
I have found an inner strength so true
Ready to see the things meant for me
I stand tall so
Take note of my words
And know that;


I’m over it now,
You chose to play with my heart
And now when it comes to you
It’s made of stone
So let me be
And try to understand that;


I’m over it now,
Your words without action
Had me under your spell
But that trance is broken now
Brother please believe that;


I’m over it now,
I had to step back
and take control
you can't break my spirit anymore
And now I have the courage to say that;


I'm over it now,
I've let go of the hurt
the pain is gone
but the memory stays
But have no fear
And know that;


I'm over it now,
I'm taken care of by the best
my heart is safe now
I've found true love now
rest assured and know now
that you almost severed my heart
But I 'm over it now......
And you lost.

Written by:
TMS February 2010
Not to be duplicated without permission

I'M OVER IT NOW!

I’M OVER IT NOW!!! How many times have we said this time and time again only to realize that we are not as over it as we think we are? It’s hard sometimes to get over the hurt that others have caused you, the bad decisions that you made in the past, or even the nonsense that you are doing presently that cause the turmoil that you are experiencing.

Many times people complain about how friends take advantage of them, yet they continue to allow them to dump their troubles, and drama on them. People say they are tired of bad things happening to them all of the time, but refuse to change the things they are doing in order to get themselves out of the situations that they are in.

I think about this all of the time as I go through my daily routine…………how I used to be that person who needed a change, but continued to wallow in the same situations without attempting to modify my actions. I found out quickly that this doesn’t work. Though it is hard to make it through some of the storms that come with life, I had to understand that without a plan, and without putting that plan into action, I would never truly be able to say that I’M OVER IT NOW!!!!

I have found that through my struggles (some which were self inflicted) that I can make it, and that I am strong woman. My trials taught me that I can persevere and be a role model for so many who are going through the same thing that I have gone through. I know that my life speaks without me saying a word that: I’M OVER IT NOW!

Soooo, I have to say that looking within yourself, finding strength in God, and knowing that your steps are ordered will reveal the destiny that was created for you. I am a true believer that the things that are meant for your life are already known and your path has been created, you just have to make sure that you are ready to hear the directions that will lead you there. I believe that by doing those things will give you the strength to say: I’M OVER IT NOW, and give you the motivation to stay on the path meant for your life.

My Favorite Poem......written by ME!!!

Writing to me is so therapeutic. I know that if I have something to say, I can let it flow and will feel refreshed and relived afterward. The words that I are write are a window to my soul, and you are able to tell a lot of what I am feeling through my poetry and my journaling.

Sooo, because I have not written any new pieces that are ready for revealing, I thought I would post one of my favorite pieces. This is one I usually perform at local open mics, and I have to say that I have terrible stage fright, and I only do open mics from time to time so that I can begin to conquer my fear, and share my works with others in different mediums.

The follow piece is written about a Love so true, I struggled to put it down on paper. This piece is ever evolving....I am always editing it, always looking to have it reflect what else I have discovered about its true meaning.

I Feel Love

He suspends my mind

into a place and time

that I have never felt before.

 He makes love to my mind

and makes my body do things

that it has never experienced felt before.

Now I’m not talking about

the traditional feelings that one might think,

I’m talking about the way in which

he makes my knees weak.

He is so right for my spirit

my heart and my soul,

I know I am in love because

he touches me in so many

different places at the same time.

I ‘m not talking about physically,

I mean my heart

my soul and

my entire being.

He makes me feel so beautiful

and so needed that I am compelled

to make sure he has all he needs

even though he doesn’t need me to.

And because this man is so true,

he has many women checking for him

but none of them have what it takes

to capture his attention.

I have to admit

that he grounds my emotional flights,

and keeps me level,

he keeps me wanting more and more

even when we are not together.

I look at him and see a reflection of me,

I close my eyes and he is

the only one I see in my dreams.

And even though he is not yet mine,

I know that in time he will come

to see me as his queen.

I can feel the energy

that he sends my way when he looks at me

and I know that he will forever love me.

I can tell by his eyes

that that even though sometimes

he may get mad at me,

he is drawn to me,

and his heart will never leave me.

Other women try to

capture him physically,

but I have the best you see….

I have this man mentally.

I know you may ask

how can you wait patiently,

How can you see clearly 

the image of the man you want to see.

It’s because I’m waiting

for the one who is sent to me, 

the one meant for me and

the one who can satisfy my every dream.

TMS 2007

It's Basketball Ya'll!

Well I had an eventful weekend....went to basketball games, took care of my youngest who was sick, and went to the laundromat which I have not done in YEARS ( my dryer died and I wanted kids to wear DRY clothing to school!!)

So what I want to talk about today is my kids basketball coach. I know that it is trying sometimes to deal with 5 through 7 year olds, and I know that you are volunteering your time, and you are not getting paid....... but my goodness do you have to text on your cell phone , talk to your wife who is watching the game, and yap it up with the "assistant coach"  ( during the game I might add) while these children are running up and down the court shooting at the wrong basket!! ( Okay only my 5 year old did that....but that's not the point!!!)

I mean the other team is executing plays and actually guarding the person they are assigned to guard. I mean these little kids are playing like the "Globetrotters" and our kids look like " The Generals"!! Sheesh! I want to get my money's worth too!!!! I want my son to learn to make the mean face while he guards his opponent, and not run around the court chasing the other team like they are playing tag.

I know this is for fun, and they are learning how to get along with the other kids....but can I get my $95 worth please? I'm just saying.

That's all for now.....

Hear me ROAR

Okay so today I am feeling empowered, strong, and I may have just a bit of an attitude.....SO WHAT! Smile. I am feeling good, but if anyone messes with me today......watch out now!

I was thinking about my 12 year old this morning, and how she is so quiet, sweet and willing to do anything for anyone! She is going to be such a good mother (when she is married and finished with her education!!!) because she is so patient and loving with her little brothers!!! (AWWWW) I want to make sure that I am setting the example for her to be a strong, independent young lady who does not have to follow the crowd in order to be accepted. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin so that she knows that she is able to do anything that she wants to do, and all that she needs to do in order to achieve those things is to work hard......AND unfortunately learn how to play the game!!!

IDK, I worry sometimes that I am not teaching her all that she needs to know, and then I think about my mother and how she simply teaches me by her actions, how she reacts to certain situations, and how she chooses her words carefully and I know that my own daughter will learn the same way!! (Love you Mommy.......YES I said MOMMY!!!)

Soooooo here is another piece that I wrote last year, but describes how I am feeling today!!!

In the beginning was ME,
God created ME
To be the mirror image of what
He wanted all other women to be.


I’m a Black Woman
Strong, educated
Standing tall with the stance of grace
God willed to me.


I’m a Black Woman,
Don’t be scared,
I’m strong when I need to be,
My mind is tough when you try to intimidate me,
Yet gentle when I need to be.

I’m a Black Woman,
Caring…that’s how He designed me to be
Understanding is how I need to be
Yet don’t think that you can step over me.

I’m a Black Woman,
In the beginning was ME,
God created ME
To be the mirror image
of what He wanted all other women to be.

TMS June 2009

Feeling Like Love

SOOOOO, I am new to writing blogs, and I thought that I would start my first one off by talking about the one thing that makes me happy....LOVE. Loving and being in love is so precious and is what makes many in this world the happiest. I know that for me me I am the happiest when I know that I am loved and when I am giving love! (AWWWWW I know, I know!) I am an emotional creature (can you tell yet?) who many times wears what I am feeling on my sleeve...which is not good I know...you can't let people all the way in all the time now can you?!
When I feel myself getting down and I want to put a smile on my face I put on the the song "LOVE" by Neo Soul artist Musiq Soulchild! (Does that surprise you?) That song ALWAYS puts me in a good mood no matter what I am going through! Check out some of the lyrics:

"Love..... so many things I've got to tell you,

but there's a possibility that you'd look at me differently,
Love.....ever since the first moment I saw your face, from then on I knew,

that by you being in my life things were destined to change"

I ABSOLUTELY love this song! Many times I put it on repeat and sing my heart out!!!

A good friend once said to me that you could put on good music and get me to do anything......I don't know about that, but I do enjoy a good love song!!! Smile.

I usually put on paper what I am feeling at that particular moment by writing in my journal or writing a poem. Most of the pieces that I create are about Love, but I am trying to broaden my horizons by writing on different topics.....we will see how that goes, but for now enjoy this piece that I wrote earlier this summer:

Your love is…..
Like a musical melody
Like musical bliss to me
That plays over and over in my mind.

Your love…….It’s like
my favorite song you see
You are that wonderful melody
Whose hook has me ready to sing.

Your love is……
Definitely meant for me
Your body and mine has the perfect chemistry
That I am ready to perfect…… daily.

Your love is…….
Quiet and unexpecting….
Quite perplexing…to tell you the truth
And I am ready to let it just flow.

Your love is…….
Mind-blowing and complex
Paralyzing and so perfect
That all I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.